[insert my heartbeat]

Sometimes I have these flashes of insight…I read something so poignant and piercing to my situation, that even a stack of ungraded papers or stack of books-to-be-read can’t distract me.  Today I found Psalm 45, or it found me.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the man I will marry. To be honest, I try not to, often shoving that wistful longing aside because the who and why and when and where are invisible, unpredictable. The If has been big in my mind lately; it hasn’t happened yet, so don’t I need to set my desires aside and just get on with life, get on with the potential that my life might be an “if not”?

But the mystery of the who and why and when of him  has been dogging me, lately. I try to shake it off, but the thought hasn’t left me alone. “It might…” and “be great…” follows me. And then I, who have been praying through the Message Psalms this year came upon a doozy, Psalm 45 sung by the sons of Korah to the bridegroom:

My heart bursts its banks, spilling beauty and goodness. I pour it out a poem to the king, shaping the river into words: “You’re the handsomest of men; every word from your lips is sheer grace, and God has blessed you, blessed you so much. Strap your sword to your side, warrior! Accept praise! Accept due honor! Ride majestically! Ride triumphantly! Ride on the side of truth! Ride for the righteous meek!

Do you hear that, all you husbands-now, and husbands-to-be? I believe in you…you’re royalty, adopted as kings, meant to ride triumphantly on the side of truth…ride on, men! Ride on, man I will love!